Misunderstanding Pitfall #4 of 5: Preoccupation with Self

Misunderstanding Pitfall #4: Preoccupation with Self

So many relationships fall into the victim trap. People will say things like, “How could they…” OR, “if they would just listen to me!” While the victim stance allows you to feel justified, it is often a road block to resolving a misunderstanding.

When individuals become preoccupied with themselves, they miss the opportunity to understand the other person’s perspective. How will you know when you’re in this place? The best tool is to check in with yourself during the conflict. Ask: “how interested am I in learning about what happened to my colleague?”
 
If you find that you are only concerned with having your story be heard, then you are in a state of being preoccupied with yourself. Stop, take a deep breath and as compassionately as you can, listen. When your partner is done speaking, then talk to them about your experience.

Let go of being right; it is a battleground that results in very little, and if done enough times, can cost you your relationship.